Better Thesis Statements
What is a thesis statement?
A thesis statement is the central claim that the author promises to defend in his or her paper.
Why do I need a thesis statement?
A thesis statement tells the reader where the paper is headed and why s/he should bother going there. It serves to engage the reader’s interest and motivate her or him to read on. From the writer’s perspective, a thesis statement brings her central claim into focus so that it becomes obvious how to build the rest of the paper. A thesis statement, if it is a good one, helps the writer decide what arguments and evidence are necessary to make her point. In a sense, the thesis statement functions as the conscience of a paper; it helps the writer recognize what belongs in the paper and what does not, depending upon the specific promise it makes to the reader.
How do I come up with a thesis statement?
All formal papers and essays have a point. You can have some ideas on a topic, or about an issue, but until you distill what you have drawn a conclusion from your research and reflection and captured in it your thesis statement, your formal writing will lack direction and focus. To arrive at a working thesis statement, try to state out loud or write in a single sentence the most important conclusion you have come to from your research. Here are some examples of simple claims you could make after reading and reflecting in preparation for writing your paper:
- Politicians should use language responsibly if they wish to govern after the campaign.
- The face plays an important role in human communication.
- Migrating Atlantic seabirds need more protection along their migration paths.
Sentences like these, each of which makes a claim, are adequate as “working thesis statements”. As you write, research, arrange, and think through other supporting ideas in your paper, you should be moved to refine your working thesis statement to 1) narrow it, 2) make it more consequential or controversial, or 3) put it in a specific context. With more research and thought, we might revise A.-C. above as follows:
- The speed, reach, and permanence of mass media today can threaten a candidate’s ability to govern once elected.
- Although poets have always noted the role of the face in human communication, facial expression has lately become the subject of intense scientific scrutiny, with the potential for profound social consequences.
- Offshore wind farms, chemical pollution from industrialized livestock facilities, new coastal housing developments pose a triple threat to millions of migrating seabirds who have made their way along the Eastern seaboard of the U.S. for millennia.
These revised thesis statements make specific promises to the reader. Can you predict what kinds of evidence or support a writer might include in his or her essay based on one of these thesis statements?
A good thesis statement gives you room to develop your ideas as you wish, but within the boundaries imposed by your knowledge, time, and page limits. We use the word “narrow” to describe a good thesis statement but we don’t mean “narrow-minded” or “stingy”. Instead, a narrow thesis statement is focused and fits the size and scope of your paper. When everything in your paper is selected to support or explore your thesis statement, then you are enjoying the benefits of a good thesis statement.
Here is a worksheet to help you come up with and refine a good thesis statement.
Thesis Statement Worksheet
What is your topic (the area of study for this paper)?
What background information does the reader need to know before you state your thesis?
What is your working thesis statement?
Test your thesis statement. Does your thesis statement:
- Make a claim that a reader can agree or disagree with?
- Reflect knowledge of the source material?
- Pick out an idea that can be defended in the space allowed?
- Limit the kinds of evidence you can use to defend it?
What evidence, examples, or arguments will you use to support the working thesis?
Now that you have thought ahead about your evidence, can you refine your thesis statement to focus on a particular problem and context? (This is where the originality of your claim comes in.)
Strong and Weak Thesis Statements Illustrated
Shakespeare was the world’s greatest playwright.
trite, not defensible
The last scene in “Midsummer Night’s Dream” showcases Shakespeare’s ability to manipulate subtle linguistic differences among his characters for comic effect.
intriguing, has an edge
This essay will show that the North American Free Trade agreement was a disaster.
Neither neo-protectionism nor post-industrial theory explains the downswing of the Canadian furniture industry in 1988-1994. Data on productivity and profits, however, can be closely correlated with provisions of the North American Free Trade Agreement that took effect in the same period.
gives context, reflects research, shows intent
In the Netherlands, euthanasia is legal. This paper will describe the history of euthanasia and give case studies.
doesn’t reveal a central claim or focus
Recent cases show that Dutch law on euthanasia has encountered difficulty with issues involving technological interventions and unconscious patients.
focused, promisesfacts and analysis
The occurrence of measles in medical settings is higher than nosocomial infections, rubella, pertussis, influenza, and nosocomial hepatitis B according to a survey of hospital records.
distracting detail, hard to follow, no context
In recent years, transmission of measles in hospitals has been described only rarely. New data suggest that the spread of measles in hospitals is more frequent than previously recognized.
shows purpose andcontext, promises new information of consequence
Myths about thesis statements
- A thesis statement is the topic of a paper or what the paper is ‘about.’
If a reader knows that your paper is about migrating birds, she still doesn’t know what your point is. Only a thesis statement can tell the reader that. A topic merely names the field or subject area of your paper; it doesn’t propose anything. Topics are identified in other sentences that give background information that usually lead up to the thesis statement. Compare the topic sentence below with the thesis statement that follows it:
Topic sentence: There are few people totally unfamiliar with bingo—that game of chance in which numbers, called at random, are plotted on cards to form patterns and to win prizes.
Thesis statement: In order to understand bingo as a cultural phenomenon it should be studied not as a cultural ‘thing’ but as behavior compatible with a patterned way of life.
- Some writers put their thesis statement at the end of their paper.
This myth confuses the concluding section of a paper with the intellectual conclusion a writer must reach in order to begin writing a paper in earnest. Since a good thesis statement is the result of research, reflection, and, sometimes, a draft or two of the entire paper, it might seem that it ought to come at the end of one’s essay. But, in academic writing, what is the outcome of thinking and writing for the writer is best presented as the starting point for the reader. Many writers restate their thesis statement/hypothesis in the concluding section of their papers but few choose to delay revealing their central claim until after they have argued in favor of it
- There are strict rules about the form of a thesis statement.
You can learn to write better thesis statements by practicing with specific forms, e.g. one where a premise (“If term limits were adopted in today…”) precedes a conclusion (“we would lose valuable legislative experience.”). Yet if you grasp the function of a thesis statement, many forms are possible. It may take the form of a supported assertion as in “I agree with the author because…” or it can direct the reader’s attention to a scientific or philosophical issue as in “Gardner’s theory of Multiple Intelligences has applications in the kindergarten classroom for..” or “The relationship between body and soul remains a central issue in…” Short pithy thesis statements are also possible as in “Television kills”—a claim, to be sure, but one which needs elaboration in nearby sentences to correctly direct the reader’s focus.
- A thesis statement is just your opinion.
While a thesis statement does present the reader with a claim, it should go well beyond a simple assertion that anyone can make without detailed information about the topic. Statements such as People are too lazy to solve the environmental crisis we face or Today’s educators need to know how to deal with students who don’t speak English don’t convey that the writer has researched his topic and come away with something new or non-obvious to say. A thesis statement offers an informed opinion that the writer is prepared to support with facts, arguments, analysis, and research-based evidence. It might be helpful to remember that a thesis statement takes a ‘point of view’ which the paper develops so that the reader can decide for himself on the issue.
Resources for Learning
Teamwork and Inclusivity
Essays on cultural diversities inform the readers on ideas concerning inclusivity, team building or teamwork. Therefore, these topics are based on opinions which the writer does not necessarily support. However, they are excellently presented to persuade the reader through a definite and defendable thesis statement. At the body section, the writer discusses the points that support the topic in different paragraphs about the stated thesis statement with evidence and examples for support. The author uses actuating elements such as being authoritative and firm, repetition and agitation.
How to start
The writer starts with a hook to attract the reader. It should be in the form of a quote, dialogue, or a story. The introductory statement is connected to the thesis statement which appears at the last part of the introduction.
Example of introduction for a cultural diversity essay:
“Have you benefited from teamwork? Or how do you understand inclusivity? Perhaps, it is better to understand cultural diversity through the elaboration of the different aspects of people from diverse backgrounds especially their beliefs, customs, norms and ways of life about the teamwork, team building or inclusivity. People currently experience changes in the different fields of education, businesses, health care systems, personal relations, gender roles, social classes. On the other hand, such changes are observed in the form of discrimination, oppression, equality, and equity among teams. Thus, teamwork and inclusivity which enhance cohesion, improvement of skills, interpersonal relationship, an increase of professional opportunities, team building and reduction of conflicts.”
How to write the body
The essay entails an explanation, description or arguments regarding a particular aspect of cultural diversity. Writers usually present advantages of the cultural diversity topic such as cohesion, team building, teamwork, and inclusivity in unique ways. However, these points are focusing on the thesis statement with evidence, and examples support the topic.
Example of body paragraphs for a cultural diversity essay:
“Teamwork and inclusivity enhance awareness of different cultures and tolerance among people. In diverse cultural setups such as workplaces, schools, and other institutions, people from all walks of lives meet and conform to one another and form teams. These people become aware of their cultural backgrounds as well as learn a lot from others’ cultures. Thus, they appreciate their cultural differences, history, heritage, and perceptions. This solves issues regarding racism, discrimination, and prejudice among others hence promoting peaceful coexistence.
Secondly, teamwork and inclusivity support communication among staff. People of diverse cultural backgrounds interact when information is provided to the teams. It creates a platform for interaction since they have the most efficient way of passing information to their colleagues based on their awareness of the cultural norms. Besides, these people are in a position to develop schedules and can show when they have restrictions hence they tend to create plans of work which promote peace and cooperation in the workplace.
Thirdly, teamwork and inclusivity enhance team building in the offices that improve active participation as well as sharing of views hence people feel part of the organization and work under one umbrella. It can be achieved through bridging of gaps that exist due to prejudice and prejudgment. People from culturally diverse backgrounds confront prejudgments based on gender, sexuality, duties among others through the formation of well-developed work ethics that promote coexistence and respect.
On a separate note, teamwork is responsible for creativity among people or students. Students from different cultural backgrounds when grouped bring their unique qualifications, experiences and skills hence they can develop an innovation or idea or a positive solution to a given problem. It is coupled with increased inspiration of all the students or employees to work hard and reach their highest potentials.
Lastly, inclusion and teamwork result in understanding which leads to improved quality in different sectors such as businesses. This has been exhibited in global markets where advertisements are translated into different languages for consumers to have the relevant information concerning the given product. This enhances market specific knowledge through improved employment of workforce that exists within a specific local market.”
How to conclude
When concluding cultural diversity essays, writers summarize their main ideas as well as providing an elaboration of the last perspectives of the topic. These conclusions are brief and are mainly reviews of the most important points with reinforcement of thesis statements. The conclusion is coined in a way that it stresses on the thesis statement with a final statement that brings the essay to closure.
Example of conclusion for a cultural diversity essay:
“In conclusion, embracing teamwork and inclusion bring about the diverse pool of people together. These people can embrace tolerance, awareness of different cultural backgrounds, enhance communication, understanding, creativity and team building. This is essential for cohesion, solving conflicts as well as improving professional opportunities for all. Thus, an environment or entity that embraces cultural diversity is abundant in almost all aspects.”